OPINION: Do You Know What Your Husband Does For A Living?

Every jobless Nigerian man is a businessman. Every Nigerian Yahoo Yahoo is a businessman. Every 419 and drug lord is a businessman. Every layabout, rogue, kidnapper and criminal is a businessman. For every dubious person who doesn’t have an honest definition of what he does for a living; it’s easy to hide under the guise of doing business or he calls himself a businessman.

Let us take a look at these scenarios; they are real life stories of men who claimed they are businessmen and had beautiful wives they slept with every night but these women never knew what

they did for a living. They all told their wives they were businessmen.

Act 1 Scene1

It was five days to Christmas and everyone was excited. John was super excited; he boasted to everyone he would be spending his Christmas in Dubai. He bought drinks for his friends and he even

threw a loud party. His wife packed his bag for his trip to Dubai and everyone knew this Christmas would be different. Three days to Christmas, John got a call and after the call he told his wife he would be traveling to Ondo to a seal deal. His wife expected him to return the next day but he didn’t and all his phones were switched off. A day before Christmas, John’s corpse was splashed on the covers of all national newspapers and beside him was a Ghana must go bag. John was one of the armed robbers that were shot dead during a bank robbery in Ondo State. For John’s wife, that year’s Christmas was different.

Act 1 Scene 2

Felix married his secondary school sweetheart and both were inseparable. They have two teenage sons and the last child, a girl, was in primary six. Felix was a hustler but he couldn’t hold a job for too long. He traveled a lot out of the country. He has been to different countries but his wife wondered why he never took them on his trips. Felix had money and he spoilt his family silly. Few times, his wife would ask him what exactly he went to those countries for. He gave her reasons but she wasn’t convinced. On his last trip, he had told his wife and children they would be spending the summer holidays in Spain. They were excited. However, Felix never came back home. He called from jail in China once and wept bitterly. He is now on death row for doing drugs. His wife now sells fruits at the bus stop.

Although, these are real life stories but I know you are thinking I made them all up. If you think so, pick up your phone or laptop and goggle Evans (Chukwudi Dumeme Onuamadike) the alleged notorious billionaire kidnapper that was recently arrested and you will understand what I am talking about. The funniest thing is that, while you are searching you will also see pictures of his wife and kids popping up. If you want to read about his wife you can easily do so too and her pictures are placed by his.

The woman claimed she didn’t know what he did for a living and I tell you it’s quite possible she didn’t. Some women don’t care, all they want is to spend money and they don’t want to know how the money is coming in.

Gone are the days when a criminal commits an offence and he is the only one shamed or embarrassed. These days, everyone wants to know his parents, siblings, children and most especially, his wife. They want to know the mother of his kids; they want to know the woman who cooks for him and it’s very easy to do that, because almost everyone is on social media.

So, you see why you need to know what your husband does for a living because, if you don’t know, you will also be dragged into his mess. You shouldn’t just accept it when he says he is a businessman; probe him further on what kind of business he does. If he says he’s a trader at Alaba Market, that’s not good enough, go and see his shop. If he tells you he is into export and import, go and find out about his warehouse. What is he importing and exporting? When his is his next shipment coming into Nigeria? If he tells you he is sealing up a deal, find out what kind of deal it is and satisfy your conscience that he is not a drug baron.

If he tells you he is doing clearing and forwarding, what’s he clearing? Hope it’s not human parts? Did he tell you he’s a contractor? Find out the kind of contracts he is into. Pay him a surprise visit once in a while at his office and go with a cooler of Isala soup and fufu. Look around and see how genuine this business is, don’t be complacent.

If he gets into trouble today, you should know your life will never remain the same again and for life, your children will bear the shame and stigma.

Forget the fact that he is posh and clean. Hard core criminals no longer look dirty and smelly. Some of them don’t even talk tough like we were made to believe and not all of them have bloodshot eyes. These days, there are men who look like gentlemen that are into crime.

In fact they wear crispy shirts and designer’s perfumes. They drive very posh cars and live in mansions, so if your husband has all these things, that doesn’t make him a saint. If you really love him and you are not just after his wealth, you should ask him what he does for a living.

All these women in these stories must have been suspicious at some point but they chose to keep quiet.

I understand that being in love with someone can make you take many things for granted. But if you love him, you should tell him how uncomfortable you are about his movements though our society discourages wives from questioning their husband’s movement. Oh yes, a man has a right to know where his wife is going but a woman has no business knowing about her husband’s whereabouts.

She’ll ask “My dear where are you off to?” he’ll say

“When did you start monitoring my movement?”

Let me tell you bros, your wife has a right to know where you go to and who your friends are. She is not asking because she wants to police you, she’s only asking for security reasons and to protect you.

It’s wrong to just pick your car keys and tell your wife, “I am coming?”

If she asks you whom you were speaking with on the phone, your duty as a husband is to tell her. Let your wife know your movement, it doesn’t make you less of a man!

What if something bad happens to you afterwards? What if the police needs to do an investigation? Your wife will be the first person that would be called upon. But the funniest thing is that in this part of the world, many women just bear “Mrs.” and wear wedding bands but they are not close to their husbands. They are only flat mates.

Moreover, what do I expect from a society that thinks every man knows best because he has a third leg. Dear husbands, you should know that women have better hunches when there is trouble. A wife can smell evil from a distance. She can see through your friends and when she warns you about them, please listen. Don’t be carried away with the beer and pepper soup. Listen to your wife!

Of course, I can confidently say there are good men and I think I know a few of them and I celebrate you guys.

Truth be told, I know that no sane woman will walk down the aisle with a criminal. But what happens when you find out years later you have been living a lie all these while?

My fellow women, we need to start asking our spouses questions. Is he living above his means when you know how much he earns? Check it up. That cash he brought home, where did he get it? Don’t be afraid to ask him. Who and what is your knight in shining amour at night? Do you know where he is at the moment?

If you love your man ask questions. If you don’t, he will get you into trouble and shatter your lives. Go probe him! Make him uncomfortable with your questions. It’s high time you stopped listening to all his rooster and bull stories. Get to know your man! If you love your man ask questions.

Become an FBI in your home, I have given you the license but be discreet for security reasons and you should make good decisions based on your findings. Good luck!

Source: The SUN